Your Questions. Answered.

Thank you to everyone who asked me/us questions. We got some great questions and some funny ones too (like: Have you eaten any cute furry animals? The answer to this is a huge NO!!) I was going to pick out some of the questions, but they were all really relevant, so I have decided to answer them all.  I have divided them into categories that will hopefully help me in answering them. I apologize now for the length of this. I hope you stick with it till the end.

Here I go. I hope you enjoy reading the questions and the answers.

**CSX: Changsha     HY: Heng Yang          SMX: Samenxia    

**EQY: EnQuanYuan (most disabled & dependent children)

     LH: Lighthouse (mild-moderate/severe children)

     VTC: Vocational Training Center (high functioning young adults)

    

OUR CHILDREN  

Have the kids made friends, Western or Chinese?

The kids are friends with Anemaat children. This is the other family on our team. Their kids are 10yrs (nearly, a boy), 8yrs (girl), 6yrs (boy), 1yr (girl)

 Are there kids there around your kid’s ages that they have made friends with?

Just the Anemaat children

Do the kids bring home friends or go to a friend’s place? 

The kids are free to go to the Anemaat’s. They are on the 5^th floor of our block, so it’s easy and safe for the kids to go there.  It is not safe, right now, for the kids to make Chinese friends. They don’t know the language, we don’t know the city. We have been cautioned against allowing the kids to have Chinese friends as often the Chinese will ‘use’ the foreigner to help them with their English. It will start out as friendship, then it will turn out to meals and gifts and then your child is teaching their child English and at that point it’s nearly impossible to get out of the relationship.

Can the kids go and play, besides on the roof?

We have found a few places to play. There is the roof, the tennis courts, ping-pong table room, a gazebo area and an exercise park all within the complex. There are a couple of indoor play centers that they can play at, for a cost. These places are a bus ride away. There are a couple of basketball courts to go to as well. There are no parks as we know them at home. No big open green spaces. No small open green spaces. No green spaces, actually.

How are the older kids adjusting to their limited independence? 

The kids are adjusting pretty well to their limited independence. They don’t like it, but they are accepting it.

How are the kids handling the change?

I truly think that they are doing very well considering we pulled them from all they know. I’m very proud of how they are adjusting.

Are the kids finding it easy to adjust?

They are each going through their own things. The big kids miss their friends terribly and the little kids miss Grandma & Papa. Skype certainly helps in this matter. Everyone misses their ‘Airdrie home’. There is a lot of adjusting to do. Language. Food. Culture. I’ll get to each of these in a bit.

How are the kids doing?

They really are doing great. They have their ups and downs. Their metdowns. Their laughs. They are accepting of this change, even though they don’t like it and ‘nobody asked them’. Every now and again the twins ask to go home to Airdrie.

SCHOOLING

What does schooling look like for the kids? What program are you using?

Brendin & Jacquelyn are enjoying the life of being home schooled. We are with the Rockyview Learning Center, based in Airdrie, Chestemere & Cochrane. Brendin’s schooling is an online school. He receives all his assignments via email and submits everything via email. Jacquelyn’s school is a home school program.  We are in charge of managing her assignments, and ensuring she is getting everything done. She then submits her work via email. We are all learning as we go. So far, it’s okay. Some things to iron out, but overall, not too bad.

The twins have not started school yet. They will begin in September and we are seriously considering enrolling them in local school. The kindergarten (or Kindie as it’s called here) school is right in our complex. It runs from 8:30am – 5:30pm and the kids receive a hot breakfast, hot lunch and hot dinner! They are also required to nap during lunch break (I’ll talk about this in culture later). We would bring them home during lunch.  This is not free, but it’s not too expensive.

FOOD

Is the Chinese food really better over there?

Yes. Yes it is.

What are you eating? Chinese or Western?

We are eating a little of each. Of course, its all Chinese when we go out. Eating out with a group is much different then when we eat out at home. One person usually takes charge of the ordering. The number of dishes typically matches the number of people at the table. 6 people = 6 dishes. 10 people = 10 dishes. There are a number of dishes that we like and so many more that we don’t. At home we are eating 100% Western. It’s not hard to cook Western in the home. We brought spices from home so that helps.

Are you able to find food that your family is used to? If not, how are the kids adjusting?

It took time, but we found a vendor at the wet market that sells decent, frozen chicken as well as fresh pork (ribs, ground). Pasta, cheese, butter can be found at Metro. Rice is very easy to find. The kids have been into baking, it’s a nice treat. Vanilla tho, can only be bought in HongKong. Thankfully Lisa (Anemaat) has a lot and Mom is sending us some!

When we first arrived it took some bribing to get the kids to try the food (when out). We would offer them 1RMB (about 60 centsCAD) for each NEW food they tried. The kids have discovered they love lamb and a sweet and sour fish dish. They also found a beef dish and a cauliflower dish they like. Most dishes can be found at each restaurant. It may just be prepared slightly different. Some restaurants have dishes that are unique to their place, but we can still usually find something we like. At least there is always mifan (rice)! 

LANGUAGE

Have you been able to use your mandarin lessons to talk with some locals? If so, how did it go?

Our mandarin is about the equivalent to that of a 1-2 year old. We know a lot of words and know how to create simple sentences. That’s about it. We use our language to order food, buy things at the wet market, that’s about it. The shopkeepers are very willing to help us with pronunciation. They try to listen to us and help us.

How do you to manage to communicate while there? Are there many English speaking people or is it a lot of charades?

We use our limited language. I have created a pocket dictionary with the words we have learned. It is in English, Pinyin (phonetic spelling of Mandarin using English letters) and characters. If you are foreign, you speak English. There are not a lot of foreigners. Charades works. Sometimes. If we have something we really need to communicate about we either bring someone along that has language, or we call them on the phone when we get there.

Is it really hard learning Chinese and keeping up with the conversations around you?

It’s a very hard language to learn, and there is the Changsha dialect to deal with and distinguish. We are each able to start picking out some words as we ‘eavesdrop’ on the locals while we are waiting for the bus, or on the bus, or in the market etc. It is very hard to keep up with conversations around us.

CHALLENGES

What are the biggest challenges you will be facing in the first year?

This first year will see many challenges. I think the biggest one is getting a grip on the language. It is very hard to do day to day activities without enough language. We are able to grocery shop, but if we can’t find something, we can’t just ask someone where it is. Charades gets interesting. How do you act out laundry softener? Sometimes we take a picture of what we need then just show the person and they can take us to the item.

The weather patterns will also be a challenge for us. It doesn’t get as cold here as it does at home, but it’s a very wet cold, not a dry cold, which will take time to get used to. Also, the summers are HOT HOT HOT!! And this something we definitely are not used to!

What is the best thing about being there?

Andrew: deepening sense of Gd’s presence in our everyday lives

Darcie: experiencing a new culture

Brendin: how cheap everything is

Jacquelyn: learning Chinese characters, food

Andrea: our house we live in

Alysa: our house we live in

What is the worst thing about being there?

Andrew: not being able to communicate

Darcie: no language, no extended family or friends who know me/us

Brendin: no friends

Jacquelyn: learning the language –“it is hard and confusing!”

Andrea: “going for walks everywhere cuz they make my feet hurt”

Alysa: “not speaking like Chinese people do”

Before you left you must have had a feeling of what you felt would be your biggest challenge, what was it?

I think the biggest challenge we thought we would face was the language barrier. When you can understand HELLO and GOODBYE, oh, and THANKYOU, it’s really hard to do day to day activities. Learning more words and how their (Chinese) sentences work has granted us a bit more independence (as a family) and understanding.

What was a concern/challenge for you guys coming over that since you’ve been there actually hasn’t been a challenge?

I was concerned with a lot of things before coming over that have really been for nothing. Things like what we would eat, or would be able to get any Western items (toothpaste, shampoo, pasta, bread).

FAITH

How have the kids felt Gd in their lives since moving?

Have the kids had major, or minor, moments when they feel Father has spoken to them?

Are the kids feeling lead to do something over there?

I did ask the kids these questions, but they did not have an answer for me. I think the kids have felt Gd in their lives as they seem to have the same peace from Gd that we have. I think this as they have been really great about all that is going on. They are still upset about moving, but overall they are not acting out and misbehaving.

I think Jacquelyn is being lead to work with some of the girls in the Lighthouse. She constantly asks to go there and see the children.

How have you grown in your faith?

We are learning the true meaning of trusting Him to provide for us. We have a very limited budget and we must live within it. When we think we are at the end, He has provided for us. He has given peace that surpasses all understanding. We have to lean on Him for our every need. We have to trust Him to protect us while we are out. We don’t know the language, so it is through our faith in Him that gets us out and back safely. He will take care of us. At home (Canada) it is easy. You have resources to help you through your day. You are in a place that is comfortable. You can communicate. We don’t have that. We have Him. He has given us each other and for that we are so grateful. None of us could imagine coming here as a single person (singles make up the majority of our team). When all is stripped away, we have each other and Gd. Our faith grows by not having anything else. It has to. Without faith we wouldn’t be here. Our lives depend on our faith. We don’t really have anything to fall back on here. If our faith fails us, we are hooped. Thank goodness He never fails. Thank goodness His promise to never leave us is a PROMISE which is true day in and day out.

CHANGSHA/CHINESE CULTURE

Do we have a car or is it walk/public transit?

No car. It is pretty much walk or public transit. We have taken a taxi, but that is only when we are alone or just 4 of us. The taxis will only take 4 at a time, so if we are all out together it doesn’t make sense to take 2 taxis when we can take a bus. The bus costs us 1.80RMB/person. That is about 30cents/person. Justin (Anemaat) has a van, so if we are all going somewhere together, we can all pile into the van. It technically sits 8, with seatbelts. But there is a bench seat in the very back that fits 3 adults. We have had all 7 children in the back row, 3 adults in the middle row, 2 adults in one captain seat, Becky (Justin/Lisa’s daughter, age 1) sits in a car seat in the other captain seat, then 2 in the front. Yeah, we have!

Without a vehicle, do you get a chance to get out of the city?

We do not get out of the city. There really isn’t anywhere to go. We will get a chance to go to HY and SMX as well as Beijing, but we haven’t gone yet. We will travel by train to get to these cities.

Have you found any parks or places the kids can enjoy?

Not really. There is the indoor play space in one of the buildings (where the Walmart is), but that’s about it. And this play space is for the twin’s ages, not the big kids. The Stadium is ok for rollerblading and for running around in, but it’s about a 15min walk from our place. The older kids enjoy going to play basketball at the court, but this is not nearby. There is also the ping-pong room in the complex.

Have you been to the West Lake Restaurant?

No, but it is on the ‘to do’ list. It isn’t too far from our place (if driving – about 20min).

What can a tourist expect to do?

There are museums here that are nice to see. There is Yuelu Mountain, which is really more like a hill for those of us who live near the Rocky Mountains. It’s about an hour hike to the top. Window of the World is apparently a must see. Orange Park and Martyrs Park are also nice to see. As well, there is the local night markets and shopping. There is a 400foot Ferris Wheel that if you are brave enough, you can go on. I will NEVER be on it!! There are fireworks that go off every Saturday night. If you time it right, you can go in the Ferris Wheel and watch the fireworks from there. This is a goal for Andrew and the big kids. A weekend trip to Beijing to see the Great Wall is a must. If you came with us, we would also take you to see the ICC sites. Changsha isn’t super ‘touristy’. It is trying to become more of a holiday spot in China, but it’s still something they are working on. If you came here with us, you would get to see how to live in China. The nitty gritty of life here. It would be fun!

How are we treated by the locals?

We are treated pretty well. No real complaints. I get annoyed at the constant stares and yells of ‘weiguoren!” (foreigner) or ‘si ge haizi!’ (4 children!). The locals are not used to seeing foreigners. We are a novelty to them. They are excited to talk to us and even when we say ‘wo bu dong’ (I don’t understand) they continue to talk to you. They like to touch the children. Like white skin feels different. And they love to take pictures of the kids. We have to tell them no.

What time does it get dark? Sunrise?

Sun sets about 6:30pm during the winter and about 7pm during the summer. Sunrise is around 6:30am, year round. There is no daylight savings time here. There is one constant time for the entire country. This has proven wonderful for getting the twins to bed as it is always dark by 7:30pm!

What is the temperature? Does it snow there?

Currently the temperature is in the low teens (~55F). As I write this it is even cooler as it is pouring rain out. In winter the temperature drops to -2*C (28F) and in the summer it can reach +40*C (104F), plus humidity. Justin told us that it will almost never be recorded at +40*C (104F) as when it gets that hot businesses and schools close down and they don’t want these things to close, so the temperature will typically only be recorded up to +39*C (102F). 

Also remember, there is no central heat/aircon here. We do have aircon/heating units in each of the rooms, but it’s not the same as central. I am thankful that we have these units as it wasn’t too many years ago that the homes didn’t even have these!

They say it snows here, but I’m waiting to see what they call snow. Lisa mentioned that it may snow in the night but usually by the morning it’s gone.

What have you taken in regarding the culture?

LOTS. It is vastly different from Western culture. Many things are accepted here that wouldn’t be at home (spitting, kids peeing on the sidewalk, smoking – everywhere, driving on the sidewalk). It is all about who you know here. If you have a good relationship with someone your respect goes up. It takes time to build relationship. It’s not easy. Justin has great relationships in Changsha and because of that we have been blessed (authorities bent a rule for us when we were getting our residence permits). Personal space does not exist. Manners do not exist. Just because it says something on a sign doesn’t mean it’s the rule (like no smoking in the restaurant, then there are ashtrays on the tables). People like to know where you are from. Driving is atrocious! Catching a bus can be dangerous. Getting off the bus can be dangerous. Being on the bus can be dangerous. It smells here. Need to watch where you walk to avoid puddles and also random holes in the pavement. Locals take pride in their work. They genuinely like to serve you. They are courteous (you will never see an elderly person or a child standing on the bus, someone will always give up their seat for them…the twins never have to stand). They have great respect for their heritage. I could go on. Perhaps my next blog will be on the culture of Changsha/China.  

WORK/DAY TO DAY

What have you enjoyed most about each of the groups you have been working with?

Darcie: EQY – seeing the kids make the slightest smiles, eye movements, anything that shows they are enjoying their day…I have been working with the boys as they seem to be the most in need. They are the more unresponsive then the girls. Last week I took one of the boys, about 15yrs old, in a wheelchair, to the therapy room (the sign on the door, when translated, reads “Feel Identity Rehabilitation Chamber”). He was very stiff and jittery when I was sitting on the floor with him. He was leaning against me and was not settled. After about 20 minutes of simple physical touch he started to relax and ‘melted’ into my lap.

              LH - seeing the smiles on the little ones faces…When the little ones make simple, typical advancements towards things. Seeing them move towards you for touch. Like the EQY children, these children are typically touch deprived, so to see them ask for it is awesome.

I haven’t been at VTC enough to comment. I’ve been there only once.

Andrew: LH – interacting with the children, taking them for walks

 What activities have you been doing?

We have gone to the gongyuan (public garden, which really isn’t a garden at all…kinda of a public park, but not the kind with playground equipment) down the way. The big kids have been rollerblading and the little kids have been using the battery-operated ride-on toys there (cars, motorbikes). We have gone on lots of walks and bus rides. We have also gone bowling.

What does a typical day look like?

Everyone is up about 7:30-8:00am. Brendin & Jacquelyn start school at 9:00am. The twins will play and hang out in the morning. The kids take a ‘Chinese’ lunch break from 12:00pm-2:00pm. Then they go back to school for about an hour if needed. Each day the kids get out for at least 30 minutes of physical activity. Supper is at 6ish and then twins are in bed at 7:30pm and B & J by 9:30pm.

Mondays Darcie is at VTC in the morning and LH in the afternoon. Leave about 9:00am, home about 6pm.

Tuesdays Andrew, Darcie, Brendin & Jacquelyn have language lessons from 9-11am. We have one of the short-term team members, Elena, come and care for the twins during our class. In the afternoon, Darcie heads to LH.

Wednesdays Darcie is at EQY in the morning. Leave about 8:30am, return after lunch. The afternoon is used to do Team Life Coordinator/Coach things. The afternoon is also an opportunity for one of us to bring 2 of the children to LH for an hour or so. Wednesday evenings we have our team meetings.

Thursdays Andrew is at LH. He leaves about 8:15am, returns about 2:00pm.

Fridays we have language class from 8:30-10:30am. The twins hang out at home with us during this morning. Afternoons are used for more TLC things and to bring 2 (different) children to the LH for an hour or so.

Any extra hours during the week are used for study time. The weekends are our time to do as we choose. Sunday mornings we have ch*rch.

GENERAL (questions that didn’t really fit into a category)

How does each of you want to make an impact there?

Andrew: offer children a higher standard of life – they all deserve the best, they didn’t choose this life, but it can be the best possible and they can be told that they have worth and that their life matters in the eyes of the L even if this society says differently

Darcie: I want to make a difference in the children’s lives…show them that people do care for them, that they are worth something, that they don’t have to be confined to their wheelchairs and rooms…I want to model for the local carers and pr*y they notice and perhaps start to implement ‘western’ ways of doing things (like playing with the kids, talking with them as though they are children/young adults, not things to be pushed and bossed around)

Brendin: no comment

Jacquelyn: wants to show parents that they don’t need to abandon their kids just because they have a disability (ICC runs a community outreach project what works with families of children with disabilities)

(Twins are too young to understand this question)

Prices of things

Local food is cheap. This is good!! With a teenage boy in the house we can actually (almost) afford to feed him! We can get a weeks worth of fresh fruit (that is a min of 3 pieces of fruit/child/day, plus us) and veggies, for all of us, for about $40CAD. Our meat is about $25CAD for the week (chicken breasts/wings and pork ribs). If we want to eat Western, it costs us! We can get things like pop, chicken nuggets (a treat for the kids), cheese, pastas, sauces, cereal, peanut butter, chips, and fries at Metro. We will spend about $350-$400CAD at Metro (45min bus ride-one way- plus a 10 min walk) every month for our Western items.  Perhaps that doesn’t sound like much, but it is nearly ¼ of our budget (not including rent) and we have to ration it all. The cereal costs us about $5CAD per box. The box is the smallest one ever!! It may give us 6 bowls of cereal. We can get bread for about $1.60/loaf at Carrefore (walking distance).

Prices of other things are pretty cheap. But that also means the product is cheap. We try to find things with an American name when buying it (like our blender, toaster, coffee pot). Clothes are cheap. Movies are very cheap!! The furniture (2 wardrobes and a dresser) we bought were fairly cheap, but the quality seems to be great. They were made with real wood, the night we ordered them, delivered the next day and even assembled for us upon delivery! The cost was around 4000RMB/$640CAD.

Jacq and I went to get an hour massage. It cost 140RMB. About $30CAD. That was for both of us.

What is the shopping like?

I haven’t been shopping yet. Not real shopping. We have been grocery shopping, bedding shopping and appliance shopping (kettles, coffee makers etc).Not real shopping. It will be a miracle if we find anything to suit us, or fit us!! The kids will be able to find things, but not us. There are brand name stores like H&M here, but they stock for the locals, not the foreigners. There are a few tourist markets that I haven’t had a chance to get to. One day. Soon, I hope!

Are there many family get togethers with others?

We have team meetings on Wednesday evenings and ch*rch on Sunday mornings. There are times when we get together with the Anemaat’s, but everyone has a lot to do, and after work we just want to spend time at home. We will have some of the single girls over for supper during the week. This is usually spontaneous.

What do we do in our down time? Do you get bored?

Down time is on Saturdays. We will go on a big grocery shop, clean the house, explore the city (via bus) or just hang out at home! No, we don’t get bored. There is a lot to do!

Are there times you wish you never went?

Not yet. We are preparing for the time when those thoughts come. But we also know that it will just be a thought, not a wish.

Are there any health concerns you have to be aware of?

One adult child in EQY has Hepatitis A. You MUST have your vaccinations up to date if you would like to work with her. We are all vaccinated. Besides that, just the normal things – colds will come, flues will come.

What are you doing for Xmas?

The 3 ICC cities (CSX, HY, SMX) get together and celebrate Chr!stmas during the week of Dec 25. It will probably not be on the 25^th, but somewhere during that week. We will prepare a meal, have a gift exchange and hang out. It will take place in one of the cities. Chances are it will take place here as we have the largest number of international workers and the most (personal) children. There wouldn’t be adequate space for everyone if we went to HY or SMX. I’m on the hunt for xmas tree, but don’t really expect to find one for a few more weeks. I hope to decorate the house and get in the spirit. It is my favorite time of the year.