It is not our job to judge another's suffering. However, we all do it. Unintentionally, I'm sure. But we may have that small thought or comment. I know I have.
I've heard some people say some missionaries aren't 'suffering' like others are. But perhaps their suffering isn't completely visible to others. I know I thought that when I went on my first couple of missions trip and saw missionaries with iPads, cars, new computers, big screen TV's etc. I had those thoughts of "why are they able to afford/have these things". Its the little things I don't know about - like the item was refurbished, not new. That it was a gift. That they saved for 6+ months to get the item. But really, is it my business to know these things? Do they need to defend themselves?
Now that we are one of those missionaries, I have mixed feelings. Part of me feels that I shouldn't have to defend what we have if it was a gift, or purchased with money that was given to us for Christmas or birthdays. The other part of me feels very defensive to explain to others so understand that we arent wasting partnership money.
So, without getting defensive, I want to share with you guys how we, as a family and as individuals, are 'suffering'. These are listed in no particular order.
- We don't speak the language above a baby/toddler level. We have lots of vocabulary and can make simple sentences. We can get by. We can ask a lot of questions, but don't always understand the answers.
- Brendin and Jacquelyn do not have friends here their age. In fact, Brendin has no friends here and Jacq's only friend is 2 years younger than her and she spends all her time studying (she gets a few hours off on a Sunday afternoon to play/hang out).
- Andrew is one of 2 men our team. The other man is, literally, old enough to be his dad. He is wonderful, but a whole generation older. It's different than having a friend your own age. (There are 7 ladies on our team)
- We rely on public transport to get everywhere. That, or our own 2 feet. Yes, Andrew was able to buy an electric bike (cost $150CAD) which is a huge help if he needs to zip out to get a few groceries and to get to work. He can take the twins on the bike, but no one else - we are all too big. Changsha has a law that only 1 adult is allowed on a bike at a time. So, if we want to go out as a family, its bus, taxi or walk.
- We have to go to the market nearly every day to get groceries as we don't have a fridge big enough to hold more than a couple days worth of food.
- Western food is a treat here - and you pay for it! Simple things, like a bag of chicken nuggets or hot dogs for the kids, are expensive in comparison to local food. These things are a twice a month treat. One Western meal out costs us the same as 3 Chinese meals out. This is a once a month treat.
- We live in a small flat with no back yard, no balcony. And we don't have a choice where we get to live. All foreigners with no language (working for the welfare center) get to live in this complex. We are blessed to have a flat with 4 rooms, so everyone gets there own room (the twins share, but they wouldn't have it any other way!). We also have a bathtub in our flat and 2 western toilets, both which are blessings.
- When we go to work, we cant carry on conversations with the caregivers. We use simple words for the day to day information passing, but for the big things we need to arrange a translator. Arranging a translator is hard. And if concerns come up while at work we need to put it on hold until we can get someone in to help us address it.
- As part of a foreign team, we are the only Canadians. Actually, we are the only North Americans on our team (in Changsha). We not only have to get accustomed to the Chinese culture, but also to the culture and vocabulary of the other countries that our team consists of.
- We are the ONLY family on the field (all 3 cities) at this time.
- We are one of only 3 couples on the field at this time. The other 2 couples are not in Changsha.
- We live on a VERY tight, cash only, budget. Typically no extra funds for things like buying new clothes for the kids, going to see a movie, go swimming, go bowling or even to go to McDonalds for lunch.
There are more examples, but this will do. We suffer in different ways than others. But we suffer nonetheless. I'm sure many of you can relate to some of the points I listed, even if you are living in your home country, speaking your heart language (this is the language you are most comfortable speaking, usually your first language, but not necessarily). Some of you are missionaries, like us, and can relate to all these points.
My aim of this blog is not to point fingers at others. It's not to say that we are suffering more than others. It's not to say that we aren't suffering at all. It is simply to show you that we all go through hard times. Some of those times come and go, some have become a part of your current situation and don't seem to be going anywhere. It's not our place to judge. That is God's job, and His alone.
Until you have seen/heard firsthand what someone else is going through, you just don't know. What I ask is that if you are unsure of something, ask the person/family. Ask us about what life is like for us. Be specific in your questions so you can get the information you are looking for. Don't compare. Each person/family/situation is different. You may think that a certain missionary is suffering greatly because of how you would feel, but perhaps, to that person, it isn't suffering at all, and in fact, they consider something completely different to be where they are suffering. And as I said, what one considers suffering another may consider joy. You just never know.
2 Thessalonians 1:5-7 All this is evidence that God's judgement is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels.
Matthew 7:1-2 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you."
