The Little Things

Its been a while since I've had the time to write here. My plan is to write something monthly. We'll see how that goes, I'm already 2 weeks behind on my plan, and this is the first month. 

As many of you know, we spent 10 weeks over the summer in Canada. After 22 months in Changsha, China, we had the privilege to go back to Airdrie for 10 weeks. It was a time to reconnect, relax, and reflect. Thanks to everyone who made our time in Airdrie a memorable, wonderful, 'cant wait to do it again' trip! Your love for our family, and how you each showed that, blessed us beyond words. I can not express how grateful we are for each of you. We love you.

But enough about that. On to writing what I came here for. 

The Little Things

Its not often we take time to sit and look back on how far we have come and what we have learned. We often notice the big things we have learned, the big changes - the things that can be marked with 'flashing lights', with a 'WOW!', the unmistakeable big things that happen in our lives. 

How often to we really take note of the small changes taking place in our lives? The everyday things, that little by little, add up to something huge, something amazing, something that you never thought could be accomplished. 

I've had a few moments this past month where something has happened that has me in awe of just how far I/we have come in the past 2 years. 2 years ago, my thoughts would've been "never! that wont be me/us". 2 years of little things happening each day, that have now added up to huge things. 

2 years ago we didnt know the bus system. We didnt know how to tell a taxi driver where we wanted to go. We didnt drive electric bikes. We didnt know street names. We didnt know how to get across the river. I was so confused with the street names, directions and neighbour hoods. Now, we both ride electric bikes as though we have been doing it our whole lives (for me, I just learned in May how to ride). Just last week we rode our bikes to our friends place on the West side of the river - and didnt get lost. The other day a guest was lost when taking the bus (didnt get off on the right stop). Andrew was accurately able to tell them where they needed to go to get back to the complex.  From confusion to confidence. 

2 years ago we could say 'ni hao' (hello) and 'zai jian'. Now, not only can we say it, we can write it: 你好  and 再见。 We can say a whole lot more, and write more, as well. We are having little text conversations on WeChat in Chinese. We can have simple phone conversations as well. Although there is a whole lot we don't understand, there is so much more we do. Its amazing. 10 days ago we went to the furniture market to look at round tables. We wanted 8 chairs and a lazy susan for the table. We knew our budget for this. We also knew how to confidently ask the shop keepers our questions (including if they could give us a discount) - and understand the answers. It was such a confidence booster. Today, my electric bike's battery was dying. We took it to the bike shop. We were able to convey was wrong, understand the answer and get it fixed. It runs good as new now. 

Our new table - 8 chairs & a lazy susan for less price than they were asking for the table with 6 chairs

                                                                    Me and my bike 

Relationships. We have explained many times just how important relationships are here. With our team, with the locals, with our local staff and children. It takes time to build those relationships. 2 years ago, we knew no one. We didn't know where we fit in these relationships. Now, we know. The warm welcome we received from everyone when we returned was amazing. The welcome from our team was as though we were family - we are family. There was excitement on the local shopkeepers faces when they saw us back at the market and buying local food (like the bread from the 'bread man'). When we went into the centers, the pure joy from the staff and children showed us just how much they appreciate us. 2 years to build relationships that will continue to grow and last a lifetime. 

On a day to day basis we didn't notice how well we were getting to know our city. We didn't think our language skills were improving that much. We weren't sure how well we were building relationships. Now that we are back, any doubt we had has been erased. 

Take note of the little things. Look for where those little things will take you. Notice the big things too - look for the little things that added up to the big thing. 

Take it all in. Time is so precious. Knowledge is so precious. Learn every day. Stretch yourself every day. Get out of your comfort zone - little by little. One step at a time. Do the little things that will lead to something amazing! 

Canada - ready or not, we're coming!

In one month we will be back in Canada. I guess the appropriate punctuation would be an (!) not a (.). However, there is part of each of us that is (!) and part of us that is (.) about returning. Its only for 10 weeks, but there are still a million emotions and thoughts racing through our minds as the time nears. 

I'm going to take excerpts/thoughts/ideas from the book Re-entry - Making the Transition From the Missions to Life at Home, by Peter Jordan, to discuss some of what we may go through. This book, although a really simple read, is packed with information on returning to your home country (permanently or for furlough). I hope to be able to explain some things that we anticipate going through/feeling, and how you can help us with it. Most of the points will refer to Andrew & I, but some will be very relevant for B & J. The twins, well, it could go either way! 


Being misunderstood
What we may go through: Discussing our time in Changsha/China and others not seeing the value/importance in what we have done/are doing. Others may think we are not "qualified" to do this mission.
You can help us by: Ask us questions if you are unsure of anything we have said/done. Even though you may not see value in what we have done, this may not be the time to share that with us. We understand not everyone agrees with what every missionary does out in the field, and we respect that. Please respect us in the same way. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8: 28

False guilt for coming home
What we may go through: Not knowing how the team is while we are away for 2.5 months. Worrying that our tasks will not be covered and things will not get done - even though these things have been delegated to others. That us leaving has burdened the team with greater responsibilities because they temporarily took on our roles. Worrying about the ICC kids. Knowing how they depend on us to arrive at work and now this will mess with their routine. Feeling this way because our longest-serving team member is going on sabbatical at the same time. 
You can help by: Reminding us that the team has agreed to take on these extra responsibilities. That if there is an emergency we are only an email away. That the children are cognitively aware enough to know we are coming back, and when. 


Reverse Culture Shock - this is probably the biggest one!
What we may go through: Feeling "out of place", or lonely - no longer 100% understanding where we fit with our groups, friends or family. Not fully understanding where you are coming from. We may react in odd ways - not being able to make a choice from amoungst so many options (like choosing a loaf of bread, or choosing a TV program to watch). Not knowing how to react to Western materialism - how could someone spend so much money on one item, the ads for "buy this/buy that", feeling overwhelmed, not becoming critical of this. 
You can help us by: Being aware! Understand that some things may need more explanation than you may think (and some things may not need it!) - especially those things revolving around the latest fashions, actors, TV programs, latest books, politics. Help us make a choice - this may mean going shopping with us. Remind us of what we bought in the past. As for the Western materialism, that we just have to figure it out! 

I'd like to expand on this one a little more. There are going to be some things that are going to be easy for Andrew, B, J and I to revert back to, but for the twins, some things will be harder. One thing that comes to mind is eating etiquette. Because the twins eat 3 meals a day at school, they have adapted well to the cultural norms here. Such as: using kuaizi (chopsticks), putting unwanted food on the table (or floor), putting the bowl right up to their mouths and 'shoveling' food in and burping without saying "excuse me".

The need to ration everything. We have become used to eating just the right amount of cheese, cereal, PB, bread etc because we don't know if the store will have it next time we go. We need to remember that we CAN go up the street to Superstore and get more - we don't need to fear running out. 

Lining up for things will be something to re-learn. No line-ups here. Just a mob of people trying to get to the front. No matter where - grocery stores, movie theater, entrance to an event. Crossing at the cross-walk, not just in the middle of the road. I'm pretty sure all of us could cross the highway without getting hit. Walking on the sidewalk when it just may be more convenient to walk on the road, even in the middle of the road. 

We have been immersed with the team and have picked up sayings and wordings that we never said before. We call this the ICC language - a little British English, a little Aussie English, some American English, some Canadian English, and some Singaporean English, along with Chinglish (Chinese English). All mixed in together. My parents pointed this out to us when they were here - that we are saying phrases that we never used to.  

Convenience. Of grocery shopping. Of food options. Of using a vehicle. Of watching TV. Of going to a park. So many conveniences. Things that are so limited here. Things that we have adapted to and no longer see as an inconvenience. 

Having so much free space to roam in. Not having someone right on top of you all the time. This was hard to get used to when we arrived, but now we are quite accustomed to it. Having fresh air (this wont be hard to get used to!!). Seeing blue skies (cant wait!). J commented that there is going to be so many white people at home. We will go from standing out in a crowd to blending in. Understanding the conversations going on around us. Having a vehicle to use. 



"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4: 11-13 
We hope to be able to be this adaptable! 

Changes you may see in us
Physical: The most obvious will be Brendin. He has surpassed Andrew in height! The girls have grown & changed, but not at the same rate as Brendin. Andrew & I have more grey hair (sad, sad fact :( ). I have lost weight (this is a good thing!). Andrew has too. 

Social: This may be harder to notice. Less obvious. Things like: showing a greater understanding and acceptance of other races and ethnic groups. Although, I'd like to think we were very open-minded and accepting before coming to China. Being able to see things from another cultures point of view. 

Emotional: This could be the hardest as we experience some changes in some of the relationships we left behind. This will likely effect each of us. However, with modern technology, and being able to keep in contact with others on a regular basis, this may not be the case at all. However, we may not be as close to some as we were before we left, or we may find we have closer bonds with others where there was previously little to no bond. 

Political: We have a better appreciation for Communism. No, we don't agree with it. No, we don't promote it. But, for this country, it works and was necessary. We have seen the "friendly Canadian" quite evident here. We have not had to experience any negatives of being Canadian, or being ashamed of being Canadian (GO CANADA!). 

Spiritual: We have all grown spiritually. Its inevitable that this will happen. We have had to depend on God more here than at home. Its a good thing!


These are just some changes that we have gone through and that you may notice in us.