In one month we will be back in Canada. I guess the appropriate punctuation would be an (!) not a (.). However, there is part of each of us that is (!) and part of us that is (.) about returning. Its only for 10 weeks, but there are still a million emotions and thoughts racing through our minds as the time nears.
I'm going to take excerpts/thoughts/ideas from the book Re-entry - Making the Transition From the Missions to Life at Home, by Peter Jordan, to discuss some of what we may go through. This book, although a really simple read, is packed with information on returning to your home country (permanently or for furlough). I hope to be able to explain some things that we anticipate going through/feeling, and how you can help us with it. Most of the points will refer to Andrew & I, but some will be very relevant for B & J. The twins, well, it could go either way!
Being misunderstood
What we may go through: Discussing our time in Changsha/China and others not seeing the value/importance in what we have done/are doing. Others may think we are not "qualified" to do this mission.
You can help us by: Ask us questions if you are unsure of anything we have said/done. Even though you may not see value in what we have done, this may not be the time to share that with us. We understand not everyone agrees with what every missionary does out in the field, and we respect that. Please respect us in the same way.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8: 28
False guilt for coming home
What we may go through: Not knowing how the team is while we are away for 2.5 months. Worrying that our tasks will not be covered and things will not get done - even though these things have been delegated to others. That us leaving has burdened the team with greater responsibilities because they temporarily took on our roles. Worrying about the ICC kids. Knowing how they depend on us to arrive at work and now this will mess with their routine. Feeling this way because our longest-serving team member is going on sabbatical at the same time.
You can help by: Reminding us that the team has agreed to take on these extra responsibilities. That if there is an emergency we are only an email away. That the children are cognitively aware enough to know we are coming back, and when.
Reverse Culture Shock - this is probably the biggest one!
What we may go through:
Feeling "out of place", or lonely - no longer 100% understanding where
we fit with our groups, friends or family. Not fully understanding where you
are coming from. We may react in odd ways - not being able to make a
choice from amoungst so many options (like choosing a loaf of bread, or
choosing a TV program to watch). Not knowing how to react to Western
materialism - how could someone spend so much money on one item, the ads
for "buy this/buy that", feeling overwhelmed, not becoming critical of
this.
You can help us by: Being
aware! Understand that some things may need more explanation than you
may think (and some things may not need it!) - especially those things
revolving around the latest fashions, actors, TV programs, latest books,
politics. Help us make a choice - this may mean going shopping with us.
Remind us of what we bought in the past. As for the Western
materialism, that we just have to figure it out!
I'd like to expand on this one a little more. There are going to be some things that are going to be easy for Andrew, B, J and I to revert back to, but for the twins, some things will be harder. One thing that comes to mind is eating etiquette. Because the twins eat 3 meals a day at school, they have adapted well to the cultural norms here. Such as: using kuaizi (chopsticks), putting unwanted food on the table (or floor), putting the bowl right up to their mouths and 'shoveling' food in and burping without saying "excuse me".
The need to ration everything. We have become used to eating just the right amount of cheese, cereal, PB, bread etc because we don't know if the store will have it next time we go. We need to remember that we CAN go up the street to Superstore and get more - we don't need to fear running out.
Lining up for things will be something to re-learn. No line-ups here. Just a mob of people trying to get to the front. No matter where - grocery stores, movie theater, entrance to an event. Crossing at the cross-walk, not just in the middle of the road. I'm pretty sure all of us could cross the highway without getting hit. Walking on the sidewalk when it just may be more convenient to walk on the road, even in the middle of the road.
We have been immersed with the team and have picked up sayings and wordings that we never said before. We call this the ICC language - a little British English, a little Aussie English, some American English, some Canadian English, and some Singaporean English, along with Chinglish (Chinese English). All mixed in together. My parents pointed this out to us when they were here - that we are saying phrases that we never used to.
Convenience. Of grocery shopping. Of food options. Of using a vehicle. Of watching TV. Of going to a park. So many conveniences. Things that are so limited here. Things that we have adapted to and no longer see as an inconvenience.
Having so much free space to roam in. Not having someone right on top of you all the time. This was hard to get used to when we arrived, but now we are quite accustomed to it. Having fresh air (this wont be hard to get used to!!). Seeing blue skies (cant wait!). J commented that there is going to be so many white people at home. We will go from standing out in a crowd to blending in. Understanding the conversations going on around us. Having a vehicle to use.
"I
have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it
is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned
the secret of being content in every situation, whether well fed or
hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through
him who gives me strength." Philippians 4: 11-13
We hope to be able to be this adaptable!
Changes you may see in us
Physical: The most obvious will be Brendin. He has surpassed Andrew in height! The girls have grown & changed, but not at the same rate as Brendin. Andrew & I have more grey hair (sad, sad fact :( ). I have lost weight (this is a good thing!). Andrew has too.
Social: This may be harder to notice. Less obvious. Things like: showing a greater understanding and acceptance of other races and ethnic groups. Although, I'd like to think we were very open-minded and accepting before coming to China. Being able to see things from another cultures point of view.
Emotional: This could be the hardest as we experience some changes in some of the relationships we left behind. This will likely effect each of us. However, with modern technology, and being able to keep in contact with others on a regular basis, this may not be the case at all. However, we may not be as close to some as we were before we left, or we may find we have closer bonds with others where there was previously little to no bond.
Political: We have a better appreciation for Communism. No, we don't agree with it. No, we don't promote it. But, for this country, it works and was necessary. We have seen the "friendly Canadian" quite evident here. We have not had to experience any negatives of being Canadian, or being ashamed of being Canadian (GO CANADA!).
Spiritual: We have all grown spiritually. Its inevitable that this will happen. We have had to depend on God more here than at home. Its a good thing!
These are just some changes that we have gone through and that you may notice in us.
