As I look back over the last 5 years of serving in Changsha, CHANGE is the word that comes to mind. I can not count how many things have changed. We have all changed in more ways than I can likely count.
No matter where you are or what you do, change is unavoidable. Change is constant. Change is everywhere. Everyday we grow and change. Some things are subtle, some are not. Some changes you will notice, but your family will not (& vise versa). Some are big. Some are small. Some are scary. Some come easily. Some are internal. Others public. For those of us who believe, we know that God is with us through it all, and that brings us comfort. Change is not a surprise to Him, so he knows exactly what we need to get through.
I hope you'll join me in looking at the changes in our lives.
THE KIDS
Brendin: has grown from the typical 13 year old to a young man of 18 years old. He moved back to Canada (in 2016) and will begin university, studying engineering, in August (2017). He will be moving to a new city and living in residence. Big, exciting changes are ahead for him! One thing that has not changed is his love for his friends, family and God. He continues to surprise us.
Jacquelyn: from a pre-teen of 11 years old to a young woman of 16 years old. She is preparing to move back to Canada in just 10 months. She has overcome many obstacles living here and does it with a (fairly, she is a teen after all) good attitude. She continues to amaze me with her love for people, animals and God. I know amazing changes are in her future. Changes to grow her into a wonderful woman of God.
Andrea: from a girl, barely past pre-school age, to someone who is almost in double digits! She has now lived here longer than she lived in Airdrie. She has overcome so much! A diagnosis of ADHD/anxiety/impulsivity/defiance issues/sensory processing concerns hasn't stopped her. She is blossoming into a an awesome girl. She is learning how to self-manage her diagnosis and she doesn't let that define who she is. She is doing so well in local Chinese school. She couldnt speak a word of Chinese when we arrived and now she is entering grade 4, on par with her peers. She enjoys going to local Chinese church and learning about God. She also loves her friends, family and God.
Alysa: like Andrea, she was barely past pre-school age when we moved here and she is now nearly in double digits! Alysa is also on par with her peers for learning in Chinese. Both girls are often mistaken for local Chinese children. Alysa enjoys going to local Chinese church and learning about God. Alysa, like her siblings, loves her friends, family and God.
CULTURE
We had some idea of what the culture would be like when we arrived, but nothing could've prepared us for living here. We were in shock for quite some time. And to be honest, we sometimes still shake our head at things. We learned that just because something is different, doesn't mean it's wrong. Ways of doing things here took a while to get used to.
Changes from Canadian culture to Chinese culture are many.
- food
- language
- dress
- driving
- punctuality
- air quality
- green spaces
- playgrounds
- homes/apartments
- school
- holidays
LANGUAGE
We had to learn a whole new language. Not any new language, one of the hardest languages for a native English speaker to learn. We were thrown into a city where English is extremely limited, so we had to learn mandarin just to survive. No one in the workplace speaks English, so that was an incentive as well to learn. We have gone from not knowing much more than 你好 (ni hao, hello) to being able to have full conversations (although at a 4 year old language level) with locals. We have even learned to read some of the language and can communicate with the local managers, the twins school and other local friends via a popular app called WeChat. There is something very humbling about being illiterate and needing to depend on someone for every little thing. We still need to call on on our bilingual teammates from time to time, but not nearly as much as we used to. We need to trust ourselves more as often when we call them for translation, we understood correctly!
COMMUNITY/FRIENDS
This has been a biggie for us all. The teens had to learn to be each others best friends as there are no local foreign teens here for them. We had to learn to meet new people, and connect with our team (more on team on the next section). We left all our friends in Canada. That was hard for all of us. With God's leading, we met a group of amazing foreigners (mostly Americans, most are families) about 10 months after we arrived. They are still a huge part of our life. The group has changed over the years with people leaving and others coming, but they are part of the glue that holds us here. It was in this group that each of us found lasting friendships. It's hard to do life as the only couple/family in a team, and these friends gave us a sense of belonging.
TEAM LIFE
No one tells you when you leave on missions just how much your teammates will be in your life, or how much you need them in your life. This was a huge change for us. You don't typically work and live and do life with the same group of people. But, here, you do. In a foreign country, where you don't speak the language, and don't know the culture, your team is where you find belonging.
Our team, in itself, is a cultural hodgepodge. If you thought working with people from other English speaking countries was going to be fairly easy to figure out, think again. We have been on team with 31 different people. Only 4 are still here today. That means we have said hello and goodbye to 27 people. And that's just on our Changsha team, I haven't counted the teammates from Heng Yang or Sanmenxia we have said hello and goodbye to. Never would we have imagined the amazing friendships we would be building. We have made life-long friends.
To give you an idea of the cultures represented in the team, this is a list of the countries our teammates have come from:
- Australia (12)
- Britain (7)
- Singapore (5)
- America (2)
- Philippines (1)
- Sweden (1)
- Taiwan (1)
- Chinese (1)
- Canada (1)
I don't think the average person goes through this much change in 5 years. Family dynamics, new language, new culture, new community and friends, new workplace, first time working on a close team - can be a recipe for disaster. Thankfully God saw us through every change. He went before us and prepared things, he goes beside us daily and we know he is paving the way ahead of us.
Would we change anything? NO! Not for a million dollars. The struggles and sacrifices of change are huge, but the benefits are amazing. If you would've asked us 6 years ago if our family could've endured such changes, I would've said you were crazy. Which is probably why God doesn't reveal his whole plan to us at once. We couldn't handle it.
Would we do it all over again? YES! This opportunity to serve in Changsha far exceeds our greatest dreams. The change we see in ourselves, the kids and our work is so life-giving. If we didn't face the changes, embrace them and grow from them, we would not be loving the life we have now. We are looking forward to the changes that are sure to come our way. They wont all be without suffering, but they will all be worth it.
