Thank you to everyone who asked me/us questions. We got
some great questions and some funny ones too (like: Have you eaten any cute
furry animals? The answer to this is a huge NO!!) I was going to pick out some
of the questions, but they were all really relevant, so I have decided to
answer them all. I have divided them
into categories that will hopefully help me in answering them. I apologize now
for the length of this. I hope you stick with it till the end.
Here I go. I hope you enjoy reading the questions and the
answers.
**CSX: Changsha
HY: Heng Yang SMX:
Samenxia
**EQY: EnQuanYuan (most disabled & dependent
children)
LH: Lighthouse
(mild-moderate/severe children)
VTC:
Vocational Training Center (high functioning young adults)
OUR CHILDREN
Have the kids made
friends, Western or Chinese?
The kids are friends with Anemaat children. This is the
other family on our team. Their kids are 10yrs (nearly, a boy), 8yrs (girl),
6yrs (boy), 1yr (girl)
Are there kids there around your kid’s ages
that they have made friends with?
Just the Anemaat children
Do the kids bring
home friends or go to a friend’s place?
The kids are free to go to the Anemaat’s. They are on the
5th floor of our block, so it’s easy and safe for the kids to go
there. It is not safe, right now, for
the kids to make Chinese friends. They don’t know the language, we don’t know
the city. We have been cautioned against allowing the kids to have Chinese
friends as often the Chinese will ‘use’ the foreigner to help them with their
English. It will start out as friendship, then it will turn out to meals and
gifts and then your child is teaching their child English and at that point
it’s nearly impossible to get out of the relationship.
Can the kids go
and play, besides on the roof?
We have found a few places to play. There is the roof,
the tennis courts, ping-pong table room, a gazebo area and an exercise park all
within the complex. There are a couple of indoor play centers that they can
play at, for a cost. These places are a bus ride away. There are a couple of
basketball courts to go to as well. There are no parks as we know them at home.
No big open green spaces. No small open green spaces. No green spaces,
actually.
How are the older
kids adjusting to their limited independence?
The kids are adjusting pretty well to their limited
independence. They don’t like it, but they are accepting it.
How are the kids
handling the change?
I truly think that they are doing very well considering
we pulled them from all they know. I’m very proud of how they are adjusting.
Are the kids
finding it easy to adjust?
They are each going through their own things. The big
kids miss their friends terribly and the little kids miss Grandma & Papa.
Skype certainly helps in this matter. Everyone misses their ‘Airdrie home’. There
is a lot of adjusting to do. Language. Food. Culture. I’ll get to each of these
in a bit.
How are the kids
doing?
They really are doing great. They have their ups and
downs. Their metdowns. Their laughs. They are accepting of this change, even
though they don’t like it and ‘nobody asked them’. Every now and again the
twins ask to go home to Airdrie.
SCHOOLING
What does
schooling look like for the kids? What program are you using?
Brendin & Jacquelyn are enjoying the life of being
home schooled. We are with the Rockyview Learning Center, based in Airdrie,
Chestemere & Cochrane. Brendin’s schooling is an online school. He receives
all his assignments via email and submits everything via email. Jacquelyn’s
school is a home school program. We are
in charge of managing her assignments, and ensuring she is getting everything
done. She then submits her work via email. We are all learning as we go. So
far, it’s okay. Some things to iron out, but overall, not too bad.
The twins have not started school yet. They will begin in
September and we are seriously considering enrolling them in local school. The
kindergarten (or Kindie as it’s called here) school is right in our complex. It
runs from 8:30am – 5:30pm and the kids receive a hot breakfast, hot lunch and
hot dinner! They are also required to nap during lunch break (I’ll talk about
this in culture later). We would bring them home during lunch. This is not free, but it’s not too expensive.
FOOD
Is the Chinese
food really better over there?
Yes. Yes it is.
What are you
eating? Chinese or Western?
We are eating a little of each. Of course, its all
Chinese when we go out. Eating out with a group is much different then when we
eat out at home. One person usually takes charge of the ordering. The number of
dishes typically matches the number of people at the table. 6 people = 6
dishes. 10 people = 10 dishes. There are a number of dishes that we like and so
many more that we don’t. At home we are eating 100% Western. It’s not hard to
cook Western in the home. We brought spices from home so that helps.
Are you able to
find food that your family is used to? If not, how are the kids adjusting?
It took time, but we found a vendor at the wet market
that sells decent, frozen chicken as well as fresh pork (ribs, ground). Pasta,
cheese, butter can be found at Metro. Rice is very easy to find. The kids have
been into baking, it’s a nice treat. Vanilla tho, can only be bought in
HongKong. Thankfully Lisa (Anemaat) has a lot and Mom is sending us some!
When we first arrived it took some bribing to get the
kids to try the food (when out). We would offer them 1RMB (about 60 centsCAD)
for each NEW food they tried. The kids have discovered they love lamb and a
sweet and sour fish dish. They also found a beef dish and a cauliflower dish
they like. Most dishes can be found at each restaurant. It may just be prepared
slightly different. Some restaurants have dishes that are unique to their
place, but we can still usually find something we like. At least there is
always mifan (rice)!
LANGUAGE
Have you been able
to use your mandarin lessons to talk with some locals? If so, how did it go?
Our mandarin is about the equivalent to that of a 1-2
year old. We know a lot of words and know how to create simple sentences.
That’s about it. We use our language to order food, buy things at the wet
market, that’s about it. The shopkeepers are very willing to help us with
pronunciation. They try to listen to us and help us.
How do you to
manage to communicate while there? Are there many English speaking people or is
it a lot of charades?
We use our limited language. I have created a pocket
dictionary with the words we have learned. It is in English, Pinyin (phonetic
spelling of Mandarin using English letters) and characters. If you are foreign,
you speak English. There are not a lot of foreigners. Charades works.
Sometimes. If we have something we really need to communicate about we either
bring someone along that has language, or we call them on the phone when we get
there.
Is it really hard
learning Chinese and keeping up with the conversations around you?
It’s a very hard language to learn, and there is the
Changsha dialect to deal with and distinguish. We are each able to start
picking out some words as we ‘eavesdrop’ on the locals while we are waiting for
the bus, or on the bus, or in the market etc. It is very hard to keep up with
conversations around us.
CHALLENGES
What are the
biggest challenges you will be facing in the first year?
This first year will see many challenges. I think the
biggest one is getting a grip on the language. It is very hard to do day to day
activities without enough language. We are able to grocery shop, but if we can’t
find something, we can’t just ask someone where it is. Charades gets
interesting. How do you act out laundry softener? Sometimes we take a picture
of what we need then just show the person and they can take us to the item.
The weather patterns will also be a challenge for us. It
doesn’t get as cold here as it does at home, but it’s a very wet cold, not a
dry cold, which will take time to get used to. Also, the summers are HOT HOT
HOT!! And this something we definitely are not used to!
What is the best
thing about being there?
Andrew: deepening sense of Gd’s presence in our everyday
lives
Darcie: experiencing a new culture
Brendin: how cheap everything is
Jacquelyn: learning Chinese characters, food
Andrea: our house we live in
Alysa: our house we live in
What is the worst
thing about being there?
Andrew: not being able to communicate
Darcie: no language, no extended family or friends who
know me/us
Brendin: no friends
Jacquelyn: learning the language –“it is hard and
confusing!”
Andrea: “going for walks everywhere cuz they make my feet
hurt”
Alysa: “not speaking like Chinese people do”
Before you left
you must have had a feeling of what you felt would be your biggest challenge,
what was it?
I think the biggest challenge we thought we would face
was the language barrier. When you can understand HELLO and GOODBYE, oh, and
THANKYOU, it’s really hard to do day to day activities. Learning more words and
how their (Chinese) sentences work has granted us a bit more independence (as a
family) and understanding.
What was a
concern/challenge for you guys coming over that since you’ve been there
actually hasn’t been a challenge?
I was concerned with a lot of things before coming over
that have really been for nothing. Things like what we would eat, or would be
able to get any Western items (toothpaste, shampoo, pasta, bread).
FAITH
How have the kids
felt Gd in their lives since moving?
Have the kids had
major, or minor, moments when they feel Father has spoken to them?
Are the kids
feeling lead to do something over there?
I did ask the kids these questions, but they did not have
an answer for me. I think the kids have felt Gd in their lives as they seem to
have the same peace from Gd that we have. I think this as they have been really
great about all that is going on. They are still upset about moving, but
overall they are not acting out and misbehaving.
I think Jacquelyn is being lead to work with some of the
girls in the Lighthouse. She constantly asks to go there and see the children.
How have you grown
in your faith?
We are learning the true meaning of trusting Him to
provide for us. We have a very limited budget and we must live within it. When
we think we are at the end, He has provided for us. He has given peace that
surpasses all understanding. We have to lean on Him for our every need. We have
to trust Him to protect us while we are out. We don’t know the language, so it
is through our faith in Him that gets us out and back safely. He will take care
of us. At home (Canada) it is easy. You have resources to help you through your
day. You are in a place that is comfortable. You can communicate. We don’t have
that. We have Him. He has given us each other and for that we are so grateful.
None of us could imagine coming here as a single person (singles make up the
majority of our team). When all is stripped away, we have each other and Gd.
Our faith grows by not having anything else. It has to. Without faith we
wouldn’t be here. Our lives depend on our faith. We don’t really have anything
to fall back on here. If our faith fails us, we are hooped. Thank goodness He
never fails. Thank goodness His promise to never leave us is a PROMISE which is
true day in and day out.
CHANGSHA/CHINESE CULTURE
Do we have a car
or is it walk/public transit?
No car. It is pretty much walk or public transit. We have
taken a taxi, but that is only when we are alone or just 4 of us. The taxis
will only take 4 at a time, so if we are all out together it doesn’t make sense
to take 2 taxis when we can take a bus. The bus costs us 1.80RMB/person. That
is about 30cents/person. Justin (Anemaat) has a van, so if we are all going
somewhere together, we can all pile into the van. It technically sits 8, with
seatbelts. But there is a bench seat in the very back that fits 3 adults. We
have had all 7 children in the back row, 3 adults in the middle row, 2 adults
in one captain seat, Becky (Justin/Lisa’s daughter, age 1) sits in a car seat
in the other captain seat, then 2 in the front. Yeah, we have!
Without a vehicle,
do you get a chance to get out of the city?
We do not get out of the city. There really isn’t anywhere
to go. We will get a chance to go to HY and SMX as well as Beijing, but we
haven’t gone yet. We will travel by train to get to these cities.
Have you found any
parks or places the kids can enjoy?
Not really. There is the indoor play space in one of the
buildings (where the Walmart is), but that’s about it. And this play space is
for the twin’s ages, not the big kids. The Stadium is ok for rollerblading and
for running around in, but it’s about a 15min walk from our place. The older
kids enjoy going to play basketball at the court, but this is not nearby. There
is also the ping-pong room in the complex.
Have you been to
the West Lake Restaurant?
No, but it is on the ‘to do’ list. It isn’t too far from
our place (if driving – about 20min).
What can a tourist
expect to do?
There are museums here that are nice to see. There is
Yuelu Mountain, which is really more like a hill for those of us who live near
the Rocky Mountains. It’s about an hour hike to the top. Window of the World is
apparently a must see. Orange Park and Martyrs Park are also nice to see. As
well, there is the local night markets and shopping. There is a 400foot Ferris
Wheel that if you are brave enough, you can go on. I will NEVER be on it!!
There are fireworks that go off every Saturday night. If you time it right, you
can go in the Ferris Wheel and watch the fireworks from there. This is a goal
for Andrew and the big kids. A weekend trip to Beijing to see the Great Wall is
a must. If you came with us, we would also take you to see the ICC sites.
Changsha isn’t super ‘touristy’. It is trying to become more of a holiday spot
in China, but it’s still something they are working on. If you came here with us,
you would get to see how to live in China. The nitty gritty of life here. It
would be fun!
How are we treated
by the locals?
We are treated pretty well. No real complaints. I get
annoyed at the constant stares and yells of ‘weiguoren!” (foreigner) or ‘si ge
haizi!’ (4 children!). The locals are not used to seeing foreigners. We are a
novelty to them. They are excited to talk to us and even when we say ‘wo bu
dong’ (I don’t understand) they continue to talk to you. They like to touch the
children. Like white skin feels different. And they love to take pictures of
the kids. We have to tell them no.
What time does it
get dark? Sunrise?
Sun sets about 6:30pm during the winter and about 7pm
during the summer. Sunrise is around 6:30am, year round. There is no daylight
savings time here. There is one constant time for the entire country. This has
proven wonderful for getting the twins to bed as it is always dark by 7:30pm!
What is the
temperature? Does it snow there?
Currently the temperature is in the low teens (~55F). As
I write this it is even cooler as it is pouring rain out. In winter the
temperature drops to -2*C (28F) and in the summer it can reach +40*C (104F),
plus humidity. Justin told us that it will almost never be recorded at +40*C
(104F) as when it gets that hot businesses and schools close down and they
don’t want these things to close, so the temperature will typically only be
recorded up to +39*C (102F).
Also remember, there is no central heat/aircon here. We
do have aircon/heating units in each of the rooms, but it’s not the same as
central. I am thankful that we have these units as it wasn’t too many years ago
that the homes didn’t even have these!
They say it snows here, but I’m waiting to see what they
call snow. Lisa mentioned that it may snow in the night but usually by the
morning it’s gone.
What have you
taken in regarding the culture?
LOTS. It is vastly different from Western culture. Many
things are accepted here that wouldn’t be at home (spitting, kids peeing on the
sidewalk, smoking – everywhere, driving on the sidewalk). It is all about who
you know here. If you have a good relationship with someone your respect goes
up. It takes time to build relationship. It’s not easy. Justin has great
relationships in Changsha and because of that we have been blessed (authorities
bent a rule for us when we were getting our residence permits). Personal space
does not exist. Manners do not exist. Just because it says something on a sign
doesn’t mean it’s the rule (like no smoking in the restaurant, then there are
ashtrays on the tables). People like to know where you are from. Driving is
atrocious! Catching a bus can be dangerous. Getting off the bus can be
dangerous. Being on the bus can be dangerous. It smells here. Need to watch
where you walk to avoid puddles and also random holes in the pavement. Locals
take pride in their work. They genuinely like to serve you. They are courteous
(you will never see an elderly person or a child standing on the bus, someone
will always give up their seat for them…the twins never have to stand). They
have great respect for their heritage. I could go on. Perhaps my next blog will
be on the culture of Changsha/China.
WORK/DAY TO DAY
What have you
enjoyed most about each of the groups you have been working with?
Darcie: EQY – seeing the kids make the slightest smiles,
eye movements, anything that shows they are enjoying their day…I have been
working with the boys as they seem to be the most in need. They are the more
unresponsive then the girls. Last week I took one of the boys, about 15yrs old,
in a wheelchair, to the therapy room (the sign on the door, when translated,
reads “Feel Identity Rehabilitation Chamber”). He was very stiff and jittery
when I was sitting on the floor with him. He was leaning against me and was not
settled. After about 20 minutes of simple physical touch he started to relax
and ‘melted’ into my lap.
LH - seeing
the smiles on the little ones faces…When the little ones make simple, typical
advancements towards things. Seeing them move towards you for touch. Like the
EQY children, these children are typically touch deprived, so to see them ask
for it is awesome.
I haven’t been at VTC enough to comment. I’ve been there
only once.
Andrew: LH – interacting with the children, taking them
for walks
What activities have you been doing?
We have gone to the gongyuan (public garden, which really
isn’t a garden at all…kinda of a public park, but not the kind with playground
equipment) down the way. The big kids have been rollerblading and the little
kids have been using the battery-operated ride-on toys there (cars,
motorbikes). We have gone on lots of walks and bus rides. We have also gone
bowling.
What does a
typical day look like?
Everyone is up about 7:30-8:00am. Brendin & Jacquelyn
start school at 9:00am. The twins will play and hang out in the morning. The
kids take a ‘Chinese’ lunch break from 12:00pm-2:00pm. Then they go back to
school for about an hour if needed. Each day the kids get out for at least 30
minutes of physical activity. Supper is at 6ish and then twins are in bed at
7:30pm and B & J by 9:30pm.
Mondays Darcie is at VTC in the morning and LH in the
afternoon. Leave about 9:00am, home about 6pm.
Tuesdays Andrew, Darcie, Brendin & Jacquelyn have
language lessons from 9-11am. We have one of the short-term team members,
Elena, come and care for the twins during our class. In the afternoon, Darcie
heads to LH.
Wednesdays Darcie is at EQY in the morning. Leave about
8:30am, return after lunch. The afternoon is used to do Team Life
Coordinator/Coach things. The afternoon is also an opportunity for one of us to
bring 2 of the children to LH for an hour or so. Wednesday evenings we have our
team meetings.
Thursdays Andrew is at LH. He leaves about 8:15am,
returns about 2:00pm.
Fridays we have language class from 8:30-10:30am. The
twins hang out at home with us during this morning. Afternoons are used for
more TLC things and to bring 2 (different) children to the LH for an hour or
so.
Any extra hours during the week are used for study time.
The weekends are our time to do as we choose. Sunday mornings we have ch*rch.
GENERAL (questions that didn’t really fit into a category)
How does each of you
want to make an impact there?
Andrew: offer children a higher standard of life – they
all deserve the best, they didn’t choose this life, but it can be the best
possible and they can be told that they have worth and that their life matters
in the eyes of the L even if this society says differently
Darcie: I want to make a difference in the children’s
lives…show them that people do care for them, that they are worth something,
that they don’t have to be confined to their wheelchairs and rooms…I want to
model for the local carers and pr*y they notice and perhaps start to implement
‘western’ ways of doing things (like playing with the kids, talking with them
as though they are children/young adults, not things to be pushed and bossed
around)
Brendin: no comment
Jacquelyn: wants to show parents that they don’t need to
abandon their kids just because they have a disability (ICC runs a community
outreach project what works with families of children with disabilities)
(Twins are too young to understand this question)
Prices of things
Local food is cheap. This is good!! With a teenage boy in
the house we can actually (almost) afford to feed him! We can get a weeks worth
of fresh fruit (that is a min of 3 pieces of fruit/child/day, plus us) and
veggies, for all of us, for about $40CAD. Our meat is about $25CAD for the week
(chicken breasts/wings and pork ribs). If we want to eat Western, it costs us!
We can get things like pop, chicken nuggets (a treat for the kids), cheese,
pastas, sauces, cereal, peanut butter, chips, and fries at Metro. We will spend
about $350-$400CAD at Metro (45min bus ride-one way- plus a 10 min walk) every
month for our Western items. Perhaps
that doesn’t sound like much, but it is nearly ¼ of our budget (not including
rent) and we have to ration it all. The cereal costs us about $5CAD per box.
The box is the smallest one ever!! It may give us 6 bowls of cereal. We can get
bread for about $1.60/loaf at Carrefore (walking distance).
Prices of other things are pretty cheap. But that also
means the product is cheap. We try to find things with an American name when
buying it (like our blender, toaster, coffee pot). Clothes are cheap. Movies
are very cheap!! The furniture (2 wardrobes and a dresser) we bought were
fairly cheap, but the quality seems to be great. They were made with real wood,
the night we ordered them, delivered the next day and even assembled for us
upon delivery! The cost was around 4000RMB/$640CAD.
Jacq and I went to get an hour massage. It cost 140RMB.
About $30CAD. That was for both of us.
What is the
shopping like?
I haven’t been shopping yet. Not real shopping. We have
been grocery shopping, bedding shopping and appliance shopping (kettles, coffee
makers etc).Not real shopping. It will be a miracle if we find anything to suit
us, or fit us!! The kids will be able to find things, but not us. There are
brand name stores like H&M here, but they stock for the locals, not the
foreigners. There are a few tourist markets that I haven’t had a chance to get
to. One day. Soon, I hope!
Are there many
family get togethers with others?
We have team meetings on Wednesday evenings and ch*rch on
Sunday mornings. There are times when we get together with the Anemaat’s, but
everyone has a lot to do, and after work we just want to spend time at home. We
will have some of the single girls over for supper during the week. This is
usually spontaneous.
What do we do in
our down time? Do you get bored?
Down time is on Saturdays. We will go on a big grocery
shop, clean the house, explore the city (via bus) or just hang out at home! No,
we don’t get bored. There is a lot to do!
Are there times
you wish you never went?
Not yet. We are preparing for the time when those
thoughts come. But we also know that it will just be a thought, not a wish.
Are there any
health concerns you have to be aware of?
One adult child in EQY has Hepatitis A. You MUST have
your vaccinations up to date if you would like to work with her. We are all
vaccinated. Besides that, just the normal things – colds will come, flues will
come.
What are you doing
for Xmas?
The 3 ICC cities (CSX, HY, SMX) get together and
celebrate Chr!stmas during the week of Dec 25. It will probably not be on the
25th, but somewhere during that week. We will prepare a meal, have a
gift exchange and hang out. It will take place in one of the cities. Chances
are it will take place here as we have the largest number of international
workers and the most (personal) children. There wouldn’t be adequate space for
everyone if we went to HY or SMX. I’m on the hunt for xmas tree, but don’t
really expect to find one for a few more weeks. I hope to decorate the house
and get in the spirit. It is my favorite time of the year.
